I promised I’d watch those 5 “monsters eating bikini babes” movies by now, didn’t I?
I’ll get to them all… eventually. But I got a bit sidetracked and thus far, I’ve only seen one of them. But boy was it a classic.
I saw “Sharktopus”, and it was exactly the movie you would expect it to be with that title.
Sure, the sharktopus is contantly changing size (one scene has him about the size of a person, another larger than a ship). Sure, his attributes change (by the end of the movie he has completely left the ocean and is cheezing around on dry land). But if you’re willing to suspend your disbelief over the fact that the monster is a giant Shark-Octopus hybrid, these are really minor considerations.
This is a movie where EVERY character (yes, even the genetic scientists who created the sharktopus in the first place) are vacuous idiots. And most of them get eaten, stabbed, or torn apart. There’s even one part at the end where the main character sets down his gun to poke the sharktopus with a big stick. Yes, that happened.
So it sounds like a slam dunk, right? Well I did have one major problem with the film. Let me explain:
A relatively in-shape human male has “six-pack” abs. Really in-shape guys will sometimes have “8-pack abs”. Regardless of the number, they always come in matched, even, pairs, right?
Wrong.
The main character has disgustingly mismatched abs, and it’s hella distracting. And he prances about the whole movie with his shirt open. BUTTON UP, FELLA. THE BUTTONS ARE THERE FOR A REASON.
I wanted to see a movie about a shark-octopus hybrid, not some mismatched FREAKSHOW. For Shame!
All in all, though, an enjoyable (though objectively not very good) movie. IF you can stand the abs.
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