YNTE Movie Night: The Last Airbender

I realized as I was making that last post, that I have another movie night in the bank. About two months back I saw M. Night Shayamalan’s “The Last Airbender”.

I was going to come up with punny titles for this like “The Last Gharish Member” or “The Worst Airbender” or “the Last M. Night Movie I Will EVER see Airbender” or “The white people punch minorities because minorities are apparently all evil Airbender“.

But I won’t even dignify this film with a pun because quite frankly, it doesn’t deserve it. It’s bar none THE SINGLE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. Remember my review for The Happening? Cinematic GOLD compared to this turd.

Its crimes are too numerous to list, but let me sum it up this way. This is two hours of things happening. People do not react to these things happening, cause them to happen or emote any real opinion on the things happening in the first place.

An example: In the start of the movie, two people are hunting. They accidentally uncover a giant ball of ice. They break the ice, inside is another person. Cut to them back at camp, the buy they found is there. Nobody is behaving as though anything out of the ordinary or special has occurred. Then the evil ethnic looking firebenders arrive. They “pillage” the camp. People continue going about their day as their fucking homes are being pillaged. The dude they found in the ice ball is kidnapped. They do nothing to prevent this from happening. Then, without explanation, they go off to rescue a stranger they just found and have shown no interest in up to this point.

That’s the first 5 minutes. There’s two hours of that nonsense.

Luckily, my timing worked out well, and I happened to have just heard that our FINE state had decided to ban FourLoko and had just purchased myself some right before the ban went into effect.

So, fortuitously, I was drunk enough for most of the night that I actually remember very little of the film. If you MUST see this film, do yourself a favor and get blitzed first.

Here’s some tweets from the night in question when my memory of the film was clearer and my grasp on grammar and punctuation was not:
http://twitter.com/#!/jathevan/status/2572332614819841
http://twitter.com/#!/jathevan/status/2573027510325248
http://twitter.com/#!/jathevan/status/2573372412133376
http://twitter.com/#!/jathevan/status/2574762672914433
http://twitter.com/#!/jathevan/status/2584940642312192

Long story short? DO NOT WATCH THIS. NOT EVEN YOU, TOM. I KNOW YOU LIKED THE CARTOON BUT THIS IS UTTER SHIT. I AM SERIOUS, LOOK AT THE CAPS.